somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Randomize
