You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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