She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
