so that wasnt chicken after all
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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