No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
