used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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