just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
