Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
