On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
