Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
