Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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