I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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