i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
