Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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