$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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