Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
