dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
