yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
