The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
do nipples grow back?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
