Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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