And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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