I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
