Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches

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(914): View more from New York

Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious

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(775): View more from Nevada

I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.

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