The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
