Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
