I met the friendliest cop last night
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
