I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
false alarm, still single
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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