you guys were way drunker than both of me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So squirting runs in the family.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
