Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
