I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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