If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
