I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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