So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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