is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
