I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
should my penis look like a turkey
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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