oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The maid of honor just puked.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
