Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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