SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
