i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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