I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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