I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
