Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I need help removing her.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
