News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
