I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
