marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
