Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
