I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
