then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
