Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
