I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
