You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
