if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
zippers are such a cool invention
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
