Acid is not a monday night drug
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
